Twinshelp

Dressing Alike vs.
Dressing Different

Twins Frame

By Julia DeVillers

Congratulations! It's twins! Your twins arrive in the world in matching outfits - their birthday suits. The hospital swaddles them in their diapers and standard issue blankets. Their choice of wardrobe is out of your hands on that first day, but after that it won't be so easy.
How should you dress your twins? Let's look at some options:

1. Dressing your twins exactly alike
2. Dressing your twins completely differently
3. Dressing your twins coordinating but not matching

1. Dressing Your Twins Exactly Alike - When most people think of twins, this style pops to mind. Both twins wear the same adorable blue flowered dress. Some parents match their twins' outfits right down to the shoes and accessories. With today's unisex styles, you can even dress twins of different gender alike. Picture twins Jake and Alison in overalls and tees, with a fisherman's hat perched upon their little heads.

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"I like dressing the kids alike," says Susan, mother of fraternal girl twins. "It is easier for me to get them ready in the morning. Whenever I try to dress them differently I always think one girl gets a cuter outfit. And with matching outfits, laundry is easier too."

It certainly is charming to see twins dressed alike. And, it can make life easier with shopping, laundry and clothing selection in the morning. It also insures that each child gets equal clothes.

However, there can also be disadvantages to dressing your twins exactly alike. When twins are dressed alike, it can be difficult for family and friends to tell the twins apart. This might make it less likely for them to call the twins by their individual names for fear of using the wrong name. Most moms would agree that it is healthy for each twin to develop his or her own identity, and not always be seen as one of "The Twins". Some moms overcome this by identifying one item that distinguishes the twins from each other such as different hair bows, shoelaces or glasses. This helps family and friends call them by name and view them as individuals.

Keep in mind that as soon as they have a say in the matter, dressing exactly alike might not be an option when Hannah wears only dresses with the right amount of twirl, and Alexis is most comfortable in leggings that don't itch. Most moms agree that the twins’ opinions should be heard and respected within general limits.

Many parents dress their twins alike at least once and awhile and for certain occasions. On the day you are going to Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary party, matching outfits are a sure to please. And when you are visiting your mother-in-law, it's probably a good idea to dress them in the matching outfits that she bought when they were born.

2. Dressing Your Twins Completely Differently - If you fall into this category, you dress your twins appropriately for the weather, but not based on what the other one is wearing. One twin might be in a tee and shorts, while the other is in a comfy dress. This style is consistent with how most parents dress their non-multiples on a daily basis.

Dressing your twins differently may help your twins feel more like individuals, wearing their "own thing". They can express their personalities, without basing their clothes on what their twin is going to be wearing. And, people can tell them apart more easily (at least after you point out that Austin is in jeans and Tyler is in shorts). Many moms find this style an easy way to go; they don’t have to have certain outfits washed; they don’t have to battle with the twin who wants to wear something else.

However, you need to know that some twins won't let you do this. Toddlers make it very apparent by screaming, "I want to wear THAT!" while pointing at their sibling. Even with older twins, rivalry can flare up when one twin thinks her outfit is not quite as "pretty" or "cool" as her sister’s outfit. Other twins find it fun to dress alike.

So consider the events of the day, your twins' personalities when you decide if this style is most appropriate. The first day of preschool, when you are encouraging their independence and individuality might be a good reason to dress them differently. When your twins complain nobody can tell them apart, or you are too frazzled to find the match for the dress that you swore you washed are other good times to choose non-matching outfits.

3. Dressing Your Twins Coordinating But Not Matching - This style is sometimes referred to as "equal but different". The twins' outfits have coordinating elements, but aren't exactly the same. Think of Emily in her yellow onesie, hat, and booties, and Nick in his red onesie, hat, and booties. This combines the best elements of the two previous styles:it allows your twins to dress to show off their unique status as multiples, and still look like individuals. It also works well for twins of different genders.

You might dress the twins in matching outfits that are distinctly different colors and accessorize them differently. Or, you might dress them in the same colors but choose different types of clothing. Kathy, a mother of boy/girl twins points out that she dresses the twins in matching colors when she goes to a crowded place such as the playground, "I can spot them more quickly if they are in the same color. And in a crowded place with two of them running in different directions it is really important to be able to find each one and quickly."

Conversely, Sue, mother of identical twin boys, prefers to dress her boys alike but needs to identify which is which quickly in a crowded space. "I try to dress them in different colors when I know we are going to be out. That way I call for one from behind or from far away and know that I have the right name."

Dressing them in different colors also works for Carey, mother of identical twin boys, "I need to know that if I look out at the playground, there are two boys and not just one moving around. It might sound silly but it gives me the reassurance that I need plus it lets other Moms help me find one boy or the other."

Carol, mother of twin girls, takes this style a step further, always dressing one pink or red, and the other in blue or lilac. This way, most people don't have to ask which twin is which once they catch on to the color scheme. Other mothers continue the color scheme to items like cups, coats, boots and backpacks so it is easy to know what belongs to whom.

Coordinating clothes also is a good way to integrate a non-twin sibling into the fun, so she doesn't feel left out. What a great family photo: envision twins and non-twins, all in the same colors, but each dressed in outfits appropriate for his or her age and gender.

Be prepared -- coordinating your children's clothing takes a little effort. It takes more time to shop and sometimes means an extra load of laundry since you can't wash the red shirt with the yellow one. And sometimes you might think one outfit is a little cuter than the other.

So which style is best for your twins? There is no definitive answer. It depends on your personal viewpoint, style, and the occasion. There is no reason you can't swap styles daily if you'd like. And then when the twins get old enough to voice their opinions, you can listen to them and make the best decision for your family.

Julie DeVillers is an identical twin whose mother mixed and matched the described styles.

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